Welcome Elijah John….

Hi All,

Well apologies for the long break! it seems that I am only just feeling human enough now after almost 4 weeks since little EJ was born! It really is true and I never believed it there are days when you just dont get a shower, days when you dont clean your teeth and eating?! well sometimes that doesnt happen either – I never EVER thought I would be “one of those women!” tee hee but you soon get over it and well it really is all worth the sleepless nights, pooey nappies and vomit down the cleavage at 3am in the morning to see his adoring little face after a nice long sleep

To be honest it has also taken this time for me to process the birth – and to take some time out for myself and my family – very cool being able to say that now! to really bond and to get everything into perspective – hopefully this will be a balanced account for you all!

Sooo the big question?! did I have an ORGASMIC BIRTH???

Well to explain I think I will tell the whole birth story…..

The lead up to the labour wasnt quite as I had planned – lots of relaxing and resting – catching up on all that sleep I had lost and being cool, calm and collected… instead I was a raving lunatic! tee hee I had a sense that the little guy was going to be early and so was in mega nesting mode in the days leading up – had a mini breakdown and was driving Tim almost to the edge with all the things I wanted him to do – he later confessed to me that he was hoping I would have him early so I would stop doing housework!!

Needless to say on Saturday the 5th of December, after asking Pim on the Friday when he was coming and him “telling me” via our little kicking system that he was 2 days away ( which would make him 11 days early)! I sat down, after finishing cooking the last frozen meal in preparation for the birth, across from my mother-in- law and declared ” I would be happy for him to come now – I feel like I have accomplished all that I needed to!” and whoosh my waters broke then and there – talk about being careful what you wish for!!!

It was 1.35pm after a bit of fussing and not quite believing it was happening I sat on the loo whilst the phone rang off the hook – I swear Mum’s have  a sixth sense about things as no sooner had my waters broke then my Mum was on the phone! of course she told my sister and my brother so they were all calling to check up! In the meantime I hung out on the loo and called the Mid-wife and the Doula to let them know we were away!!!

Tim was out at his last engagement before the birth, I had almost gone to with him! so I called him as well – he was a bit disappointed that he wasn’t with me when it happened – I assured him it was just a lot of fluid on the floor really…

He arrived home with the last of the  supplies to find me finishing off a risotto, the midwives had said to continue doing what I was doing so I intended to! we hung out in a bit of a daze for a while not really believing it was happening and telling ourselves it could still be quite some time before I actually had him.

At 5pm the contractions started – very mildly and I am sure like most women do I thought – this isnt so bad!! we ran a bath and I sat in there for a while and as they became stronger I rang the Midwife again to let her know where I was at, the contractions seemed to be progressing quite quickly and the time between getting shorter – Tim was madly running around getting all the hoses and things ready for when the pool arrived (sadly we didnt already have it set up as we were so early!)

I tried to fold some laundry – and Tim kept telling me to stop – he massaged my back and we changed positions together – it was truly a bonding time – despite the intensity I was starting to feel.

My beautiful Doula Liz, called and suggested that she come and just wait in the shed if I wasnt progressing – she wanted to be close by – just in case – I told her there was no way she would be in the shed! she would come and stay with us! so she arrived at about 8pm with Linda my midwife only a few minutes behind her – by this stage the contractions were in full swing and sitting on the birthing ball, I was praying for the pool!! the bath had become WAY too small for me all of a sudden and I knew the water would be a welcome relief.

After a few stops and starts with the birthing pool – the pump was broken and then there was a leak!! we managed to fill it to the right temperature and I climbed in at about 9.30pm Tim and the girls had lit the place up with beautiful candles and the lights were turned down – I felt calm…

The comfiest spot I found was resting on my back with my legs on the edge of the pool – feet sticking out – kind of an unlikely position to bring a baby down and I was a little concerned but both of my birth support people assured me to do what was comfortable.  I stayed in this position for a looong time, the contractions were intense but when there were no distractions ie the phone ringing or someone trying to offer me food or drink or just to talk to me, I was able to go within – I used hypnobirthing techniques I had learned in my meditations to minimise the pain and most of the time Tim, Liz and Linda werent even aware of when I was having contractions.  It was interesting to note the effect that disruption caused as it was impossible for me to maintain that level of calm and surrender when I was being distracted, from this perspective I was so thankful I was at home with people who understood and respected this.  Later Liz wrote that I was totally accepting and surrendering to the energy – and this is exactly how I felt.

I stayed in this position until 12.45am I did experiment with a couple of other positions but found they were too intense so always came back to the same “feet in the air” position.  At this point I began to feel the contractions move, as Linda had told me to expect from the front to the back, and I was also starting to get a pushing sensation, although it wasn’t quite at the pushing stage, it was harder to maintain my inner calm and I started to vocalise the surges as they flowed.  I think I had about 6 of these “new” contractions before I stood up, suddenly clear headed, asked for some food and for Tim to help me to the toilet – I was damned if I was going to poo in the pool!!!

At this point I asked Linda if it was ok for me to push – she assured me once again to trust my body and if that is what felt right then to go for it.  Both Liz and Linda had spent most of their time up until now on the couch monitoring me from afar to allow my body to do what it needed to – I was so grateful and felt very empowered although a couple of times I did wonder if I was “doing it right!”

I didnt want to get off the loo until I got rid of the poo I felt was right there but when I asked about pushing Tim decided he would much rather me back in the pool – he wasnt keen on birthing our son into the toilet!!! So it was back to the pool….

Tim hopped into the pool with me to cuddle and support me he was blown away with how I was handling the labour and he told me how proud he was of me and that I was amazing – we hadnt even seen the head yet!!

It was in this second stage that I felt the closest to orgasmic, the stretching and pushing was so gentle – I was moving in a rhythm and between surges I felt the most overwhelming bliss, Liz wrote in my birth story afterwards that I smiled the most beautiful smile, Tim and I exchanged loving words and I seem to remember kissing him quite a bit in this stage also…. I didnt reach an orgastic state but I do believe I reached an ecstatic state…

At 2.10am Linda showed Tim our baby’s head – he was blown away and said “Our Baby! thats our baby!!”  I was so glad we had watched so many homebirth DVD’s so he knew what to expect as the head coming down can look quite like a rockmelon if you dont know what to expect!

At 2.13am gently, gently and stretching so beautifully our little one was born – he couldnt wait for another contraction and so once his head was free the rest of his body shot out and into his Daddy’s hands.  His eyes were open and he looked like he was swimming for his little life…

I turned around and they passed him to me, he was absolutely beautiful and it took him a little while but he started a hesitant little cry once I spoke to him.

As Liz so succinctly put it “The world stopped”….

I am forever grateful to these wonderful women who made this experience possible, also to Tim, without his trust in my abilities and  his unconditional love it also would have made this experience near impossible.  Both Liz and Linda said it was one of the most amazingly gentle and beautiful births they have witnessed which is quite extraordinary for a first birth, I think I was blessed to have the support and information available to allow me to trust my body and trust my baby enough to do this our way.

It hasnt been all smooth sailing since the birth with a few minor complications – I believe its the Universe making me slow down which I probably would not have done without these little hiccups – and in so doing it has allowed Elijah, Tim and I to bond as a family.

I have some amazing insights that I would love to share more on the Orgasmic Birth phenomena and also the differences between ecstatic and orgasmic birth so stay tuned for when I get a clear-headed day again till then happy orgasming!!!!

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